The Husband Series

The Husband Series – Mr & Mrs Porter – Tracey – The Milk Memoirs

Mike and I have enough similarities  to keep us understanding each other,but also enough differences to keep us constantly interested in each other. We’re still learning so much about it each other. 

Mike I are pretty complimentary souls.  He’s super organized and I’m a bit of fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. 

I’m pretty anal about things that are related to kids health and discipline. Where as he’s far more relaxed and flexible in that arena.  He’s more accepting of bigger things in this world, whereas I’m always asking why and how. I’m constantly looking for the next big experience and adventure,where he likes doing the same thing over and over,cause he likes it. (Why change when you like it the way it is, is he’s tac,whereas I’m that was so good,I wonder how much more of that good is out there!) Neither one of us are right or wrong in our ways,but together,I think we work well together. We need each other to balance each other out. We don’t always see eye to eye on matters,but we both want to work it out. And it’s that want that carries us to the other side.

Tracey Porter from The Milk Memoirs, talks about her other half today on the blog.

1.       Tell me your love story.

It’s so odd that we only met as adults, when, in fact, Mike and I actually went to the same high school together – for two years! Yes, two freakin years, and we never saw each other! He was three years ahead of me, and I knew of his buddies. He knew of my buddies. But he and I were complete strangers to each other.

The actual chain of events that took place for us to actually eventually meet up and get pistol whipped by Cupid’s Love bow is a long and convoluted route, that heaven must have been cooking up for some time to get it just right – especially since that whole “met at high school” vibe that they were trying earlier, didn’t quite work out. So I’ll skip over the long and winding path that lead us both have a mutual friend.

I had roped this mutual friend in to come cheer with me at the Argus Tour that year. Little did I know, she also then raked in two more buddies of her own – one of whom I had never met yet. It was only as I walked into her home, and heard an unfamiliar sexy deep voice that I found out about her plans.

Since we were all sleeping over at her place that night to ensure we made it to Suikerbossie by 5am, we ended up spending the whole night together chatting by the fire, whilst the others slept. And, man, oh man, did this guy have me stitches most of the time, and impressing me with his insane general knowledge the rest of the time. Simply put, he blew my mind.

What was more, was that due to Argus tour traffic jams, we were stuck up there the whole day. Normally I’d bitch about it, but with him there, I was not complaining. And, in all honesty, without me even realising it…Just in one single day, I had fallen heads over heels in love with this guy. And by not realising it, I mean, I was as dumb to notion as can be. In fact, I was in complete denial about it. For a very long time. But my mom called me out about it. She knows me well.

And the chemistry between us was so real. I had honestly never felt like that before. Like, when we sat close toeach other, sparks would literally fly! Im not even kidding, the first time I noticed it, I didn’t even realise he was sitting next to me, and I was trying to figure out what these weird electric buzzes through my body were. I kept rubbing my arm, to make it stop. Until I looked over and saw he had scooted in next to me on the lounge floor, and was mere centimetres from me. This happened every time we were close. (I later learned that he too had felt those weird sparks, and refused to move, cause he liked it)

Long story short, it was eventually my first tattoo that brought us together. I wanted a big one, and needed advise on artists to ensure I got it just right. Mike was the only one’s opinion that I trusted wrt tats, and he was a willing advisor. So one morning he picked me up, we popped in at the tat parlour, spent the day together, and he ended up taking me home to meet his family. His WHOLE family. And the rest is history.

We lived together from day one, and even spoke about marriage two weeks into this. Which is not too suprising considering we spoke about children and adoption on our very first date. A few months later we went ring shopping. Eventually got engaged a few months after that, and got married a year later. (we would have gotten married sooner, had we been able to book the venue sooner)

Its been 13 years of getting to know each other, exploring this world, travelling and having adventures together. 10 beautiful years in matrimony, with three amazing children later, and hopefully more to come. It’s a good life.

2.       Who popped the question & how?

He did…by essentially kidnapping me for a day. Because, unbeknownst to me, he had just went to ask for my parents’ blessing while I was at work. And after he witnessed the excitement in my home after all was said and done, he realised my family was about to ruin his surprise he had for me, and had to keep me far away from them for the rest of the day. So he picked me up from work and took me straight to his place. This just so happened to be the weekend after I had cleared out my rack in his cupboard so that I could do a refresh of it all. Meaning no spare clothes, no shampoo ( that I so desperately needed), no fresh undies, nada. I wanted to swing by my home to grab a few items, but he convinced me by saying I could wear some of his clothes. So the next day, dressed in some of his smaller clothes, looking every inch of homeless- chic from top to toe, completely unaware that he was about to propose, I went along with his plans. Our weekends were pretty chill and unplanned, and not uncommon to end up driving to Kalkies for lunch. We ended up at Boulders beach, where I wanted to snap some pics of the penguins. He was leading me somewhere over the rocks and closer to the waves, where ”there are a whole lot more penguins to take photos of”.  I didn’t quite understand, ‘cause there seemed to be less and less penguins the further we went along, but I eventually shut up about it when he showed me the view.

There were zero penguins, but it was gorgeous. This in turn inspired a beautiful conversation about how good life is together, and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Man, went down on one knee, with ring in hand, and asked to marry me. I was for the first time in my life overwhelmed with happiness to the point of tears. Apparently I didn’t answer immediately – although I thought I did – and then managed to get the words out, although my head was excitedly nodding. As we kissed, the rain came pouring down on us. Showers of blessings he said.

And this remains to this very day, the best decision of my life!

3.       What are those super awesome little things that you love about your hubby?

He’s hilarious! Like freakin hilarious. In that quick witted kind of way, that means there is never a dull moment with him. He’s so intelligent, its amazing to watch and listen to him, and see how his brain works. He’s an incredible and devout father – there just couldn’t have been a better father I could have chosen for my offspring. He has mastered brushing long hair and making ponies, even washes and blow dries their hair- even though, he was adamant that there was no way he was going to do it, and yet, he’s so cool with it now…But draws the line at braids.

He can also remember the oddest finest details, like cast and soundtracks to movies – even the key grip boy to that 1985 blockbuster. Honestly, random to me. But it’s there in his brain ready for retrieval. Just ask him, who won the 1986 soccer worldcup. Ask you played, what the score was. Go ahead, just ask.

4.       Name a few things that you feel, that no one can do as good as your husband can?

No one can make me laugh the way he does. No one can cut through the BS quite like he does. He can strip a situation down to its bare bones and show it for it what it really is.

5.       If you could thank your husband today, what would you thank him for?

I’d thank him for being the man of integrity that is. The way he lives with purpose in all that he does. For believing in me – often, far more than I do in myself. For being the incredible and patient father that he is to our children, and the steadfast and never failing partner in life he is with me.

6.       What annoying thing does he do that makes you want to kill him when he’s there but that you miss when he’s not around?

Snore. Ok, no wait, he doesn’t actually snore. He just breathes heavily when sleeping. But Im a light sleeper, so even just normal breathing is enough to keep me awake, and I honestly want to pummel him when he’s all blissfully lost in dreamland, while Im over there heaving in frustration and sleep-jealousy.

7.       If we could celebrate husband appreciation day, what would you let him do/do for him to let him know that you appreciate him?

Let him sleep in, go to gym, watch his soccer game – all without me ever asking him to either pick up some milk or bread on the way home, or ask if he can wipe the butt of one kid while I deal with the other, or just calling out his name for something. (I know he’s pretty sick of hearing, “Mike? Mmmmike? MIKE?!” all day long. SO whilst I know he loves us, I know he also needs a proper me-time away from us.

8.       What are some of the things, that you simply cannot do without your husband?

Practically:

During the week, I’m out of the door by 6am to work, on a mission like a beast. On weekends, however, I cant drag my sorry butt out of bed without my morning coffee, that hubby so sweetly brings to me. While I sip on it, he changes baby’s diaper and sorts out her milk or at least brings her over to me to breastfeed. Over weekends, I just can’t adult in the mornings, and my hubby carries me through that till that caffeine eventually hits my bloodstream. I would be a crying heap of a mess if it wasn’t for him.

Philosophically:

This life. I wouldn’t be able ot do this life, without him. I know that sounds so dramatic, but its true. We are partners in every sense. And whilst Im sure I can do a lot with him, there’s far less joy in doing things without him.

9.       What is the one thing you hate to do, that he does for you?

Laundry. He used to do his own laundry as a young man, and I only did laundry sometimes, so it was never ingrained in me, and thus feels like a complete schlep to still try and fit it into my routine. So he just takes the reigns and does it. I used to iron, but yeah, that was before mom life dropped that reality bomb on me. (I could either iron, or I could actually sleep. Or shower. Or sleep.)

10.   Share with us a memory that was shared between the both of you, that has become an everlasting milestone?

Getting my first tat. It was the reason for us getting together, and will forever remain a point of connection. Right now, we’re both looking to get more tats, and we cant help but get soppy about it all.

11.   What is the most special thing that he has ever done for you or said to you?

Aside from the proposal? He wrote me a love letter. He had once overheard me defend myself against someone teasing me about how I used to hoard and never delete sweet messages on my phone. I was explaining that it’s the modern form of a love letter, and since no one writes love letters anymore. He smoothly stepped, breaking my gaze with the other person, looked me right in the eyes with one of those swoony looks and told me, “I’ll write you love letters, for you to keep”. And in an instant that silly defence debate I was having with my buddy, disappeared into the ether, and all that was there, was my knees buckling for this man. I couldn’t believe I was crushing so hard on this guy! And then to top it off, a few days later, I got that love letter…total score!

12.   What are the words that are most frequently exchanged between you two?

“How are you doing, honey?” We’re constantly checking up on each other. We know that the other may have things they’re dealing with or excited about, or preparing for, and we want to know how the other is doing in that space. Or maybe we know the other had a crappy sleep the night before (thanks to snoring heavy breathing) 😉 and out of love (and shame) and courtesy want to see how you’re coping with such little sleep. (jokes!Not really…)

13.   Do you have any special traditions? Eg. Valentines dinner etc

We take turns for organizing anniversary dinners. One year, I organzed us a secluded dinner… on the beach in Mauritius…, with our own personal waitress for the evening. It’s not a competition, or anything. But I totally won anniversary! Muwhahhaha…ha..ha…But it’s totally not a competition. 😉 (I still win though) :))

Catch up with the Porter’s here:

 

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Simone Gobin is a 24 year old, it graduate, wife to Avi and mother to Yash & Ralee Gobin. She spends her days being a mother and a wife. She has decided to start a blog as a creative outlet as well as connect with other parents. Her belief is that there is a lot to learn from other parents out there and she welcomes all advice possible.

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