So for today’s #ThursdayTruths, I’m experiencing some nostalgia around the biggest truth of my life. The biggest truth of my life is that my relationship was a coincidence that was intended to happen! A few days ago, I had a look at some old photos. They were pictures of our proposal, wedding and reception. These images held some of my most treasured memories and then I noticed a pattern. A pattern emerged between the images of the three functions, a pattern that I had not noticed before. My husband was caught looking at me while I wasn’t even looking at him. You remember, when you were younger, there was this quote that was always loved, “The best feeling in the world is when you look up to look at him and he’s already looking at you” (or something like that) . Yeah, this was it. No really. Although I hadn’t noticed it at the time, I did now and suddenly I was thankful. Thankful that I had someone that loved me when I wasn’t trying, someone that had my back always and that in every picture of us, held my hand. Boy, was I lucky!
MEN! It’s true when they say that you can’t live with them and you also can’t live without them ..well, it was true until feminism became a real thing and same sex relationships started trending; then it went downhill for men everywhere. After all, women are now supported globally for doing it for themselves and a women who portrays herself as one that does not need a man is labelled strong and independent. Not that lesbians or bisexuals are any less independent, it’s just that now that it’s not seen as such a taboo, they have come out of the closet and openly admitted to not needing men and are often of the opinion that women are better in a relationship. I would probably believe the women are better part because well, we are after all better at most things and I mean, it must be easier to understand your female partner if you, yourself are female?
Anyway, getting right to it… Today #wednesdayWisdom is all about show and tell in a relationship. You do know that relationships aren’t magic right? You don’t get to tap your wand and make everything perfect with a flick and swish? (Yep, that’s a Harry Potter reference right there!?!). I don’t think that it’s fair to wait for rock bottom to begin to try to repair something. If you see there’s cracks, fill them up before they take over and make the entire thing fall apart.
Although you may be saying ‘I Love You’ a thousand times a day, it may not be as effective because you are saying one thing and doing something else. Here’s a simple example:
Husband to wife: “I love you and want to spend time with you today”
Husband’s phone rings. Annoying friend of husband’s is on the phone describing something NOT IMPORTANT that apparently husband has to be there for.
Husband: “I love you but I’ve got to go. XYZ can’t decide what to cook for supper. I need to help him. “
Poof. He’s out the door. Do you feel like the husband really cared to spend time with the wife? Does he really put her above all? DO you think it was a life and death situation that he had to go back on his word to his wife? DO you think the wife feels special now? You and I both know that you would like to smack the husband upside down in this situation!
You need to enable some SHOW and TELL in your relationship because well, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
Here are 5 tips on how to show or just express the love:
- Praise your spouse HONESTLY
Praise your spouse to their face (because who doesn’t love to hear a few good words now and then??) and also praise your spouse to your friends and family. Don’t just start rambling off any random compliment, think of something true and say it.
- DATE night
Yeah, date night is a MUST. Especially if you’re already a few kids down the road of marriage. You both need this. SOMEONE, please plan and action it.
- Love notes
There’s nothing better than opening your purse or your work bag and BAM, there’s a sweet little note for the day from your other half. It doesn’t have to be some Shakespearean shit; a simple, “Hey honey. You look beautiful. I miss you. Xoxo, your hubby” will suffice.
- Spontaneous Gestures
A surprise every now and then ain’t gonna hurt anyone. Be it a chocolate or some flowers that you stole, a gesture, no matter how small, out of the blue, will put a smile and a warm ring around their heart without a doubt.
- LISTEN & Understand before all else
It is very easy to cut someone off mid sentence and start shouting till the cows come home. Although it is easy, it is not right. Everyone deserves a chance to explain and everyone deserves a listener to understand where they are coming from BEFORE making a judgement and decision.
Those are my 5 tips to see some immediate improvement in your relationship. I do have two bonus tips though, that are JUST FOR THE MEN.
- Catch her off guard, look her in the eye and tell her the truth of your love for her.
- Attempt at least two RANDOM acts of kindness towards your wife every day. This could be simply, washing up after yourself or doing a chore that you know she hates doing.
The above will ensure a happy mood from your other half, which in turn, ensures a happy home.
IF you like this article, share and tag your man. Who knows, he might take this advice! Comment below, if you have any other tips!
We begin our days with Goodmornings and Hello’s. We spend all day conversing finding out things for our jobs, our lives, sometimes just having a plain old catch up. I spend my days trying to manage and maintain a home, trying to work from home and trying to ensure that the roof over our head isn’t being burned to ashes by my kids.
My day involves a lot of shouts, a few warnings here and there, the ocassional screaming match between brother and sister, alot of tag team fights where usually I’m the one that’s left without a partner and obviously fights in which I am the referee.
We go through the motions of the day quite routinely, and we should be as we’ve been doing this for 3 years now. When it comes to bed time, we usually watch Generations the Legacy on SABC 1 at 8, we wait for the Uzalo theme song to play (because my kids have this ritual to sing along to it.. don’t even ask me why because I really have no idea!) and then we begin our lock up routine. After that the kids have to help their dad bring our air cooler in to the room and then they begin to nag for their milk. Once we get in bed then the kids stories of the day will start and our son will begin to talk. Once they finally get settled, quiten down and begin to fall asleep, we whisper apologies in their ears for the scoldings that we have given them, any injuries or falls that may have occurred during the day (and believe me, even a slight misbalance is a HUGE deal and apparently requires hospitalization… yeah, its ALL drama with us lol). We shower them with kisses, speak about their naughty but loveable ways and smile ourselves to sleep.
I didn’t realize when this became our bedtime ritual but last night when we were putting the kids to sleep, I heard my husband apologizing (the kids were fighting with each other) to my son, and I realized that I do the very same thing every day as well.
Its so amazing how wonderful these little things can make you feel. Recently, I’ve been hearing of so many people passing away. When you think of people passing away, you are always forced to face the fact that life cannot be taken for granted. Small moments like our bed time routine is what life is made of. These amazing moments will be a present to you when you stroll down memory lane, and open each memory, made with so much love.
Live each moment by following your heart and make the best and most amazing memories.
We have been living in Richards Bay for quite a while now due to my husband’s job. We have always been looking for things to do with the kids because we know that they get bored at home. It so happened that on Sunday morning, we were all set to go somewhere and as usual, we had no idea where to go. My husband and I finally gave in to going to our ‘usual’ day time hangout and decided to google map the search term, ‘Animal Farm’ to get directions. Now we do this quiet often (no, really; we know the ‘suggestions’ off the top of our heads!) but on this particular Sunday, I saw a NEW suggestion pop up; Reptile City.
Something a little different today from my usual posts. Forgive me for I have not been posting any personal posts recently… been so busy with my amazing husband series (and every other commitment) that I just didn’t get the time for any other writing! Before you go into this post, I know that there will be a lot of people questioning what type of person I am for publishing something that shines a bad light on motherhood. Let’s be honest and fair here people, there’s nothing better than motherhood. No matter how many posts like this there are out there, every mother should identify with what I’m saying and also agree when I say that no matter what motherhood requires us to do, we love being moms anyway. So lets dive into it!
Avi and I used to be completely opposite but being married to him for the past 5 years has made me realise that now we have adopted traits from each other. We can’t go an hour without bickering about something or the other and we annoy one another until we drive the other insane but that’s just the way we are. We’re pretty much the human form of Tom & Jerry.
Today it’s me, Simone, from The Mum Blog, answering the questions that I have been asking everyone else.