5 Truths about Pregnancy & Motherhood that no one wants to talk about
February 24, 2018
Something a little different today from my usual posts. Forgive me for I have not been posting any personal posts recently… been so busy with my amazing husband series (and every other commitment) that I just didn’t get the time for any other writing! Before you go into this post, I know that there will be a lot of people questioning what type of person I am for publishing something that shines a bad light on motherhood. Let’s be honest and fair here people, there’s nothing better than motherhood. No matter how many posts like this there are out there, every mother should identify with what I’m saying and also agree when I say that no matter what motherhood requires us to do, we love being moms anyway. So lets dive into it!
5 Unwanted Truths about Pregnancy & Motherhood
1. You give up being a nobody
Yep, you were a nobody until now. From the moment that people find out that you’re pregnant, you’re somebody and I mean SOMEBODY. You’re now the topic of conversation, people will come and touch your stomach without asking (I mean, how rude is that??) and everyone will think it’s okay to state over and over again that you’re HUGE. It’s like being a celebrity! After the initial, ‘Are you sure that you’re not having twins’ phase, you move into the ‘court of law’ phase. This phase lasts your entire life, whereby you’re the criminal for not taking EVERY, SINGLE piece of advice that was dished out to you regarding parenting and just winging it and doing things your own way. Who are the judges? The judges are every other parent (no, I don’t mean every single parent, because I’m sure if you’re reading this and agreeing so far, you aren’t the judgemental type!) that believes that their parenting style is perfect!
2. You give up having a choice
Before getting pregnant, nobody really cares how many times a day you do a little dance or jump up and down (I don’t really recommend the jumping if you’re pregnant though!) but once you announce the news, EVERYONE cares if you so much as miss a step while walking. The list of things to do and not to do starts to begin and sounds like it’s never gonna end. Then, just when you think that you’ve had the baby and all this nonsense is over, another list starts. Your life continues like this until well, your kids move out … I think?
3. You have BAAAAAAD days
You thought that day that a disaster took place in your home town was bad? No, no my dear. That wasn’t even the tip of the ice berg. You begin to feel the floor drop from under you and you begin your deep breathing exercises when you’re having a bad day as a mom. Nothing can really describe to you that internal cringe when your child is crying for milk, you know you had washed that bottle but for the life of you, you don’t know where the hell you put it. To top it all, your baby has a very soiled nappy and you’ve run out of wet wipes half way through changing them and you forgot to bring the bum crème along for that nappy rash. Yeah, bad days are tough.
4. You are supposed to be INVINCIBLE
Now when those bad days come along, you just cannot SHOW to ANYONE that you’re having a bad day. The moment that you scream or shout or even cry, the floodgates of gossip heaven open up and in comes a stream of whispers, speculating on whether you are coping as a mom or not.
Apart from not being allowed to have a bad day, the following are included and meant to be done, NO MATTER WHAT:
Remember EVERYTHING (This includes socks, pocket items, belts, favourite toys, that you have no milk, you need to get bread, who eats what in what way, whose medicine is for who & the quantities etc)
You simply cannot be sick. No. You cannot.
Be on standby 24/7
Be happy/smiling/in the best mood EVER, ALWAYS (It doesn’t matter if you burnt your ear with the hair iron in the morning, stubbed your toe TWICE and were being beaten by your 2 year old for 15 long ass minutes.)
5. You give up ME time (This one’s NO SECRET)
Unless you enforce this, you shall never have it. Yeah, sad but true. People underestimate how important ME time is, I don’t know what it is about motherhood that makes us anxious, control freaks. We always want to know where the kids are and that they’re not setting each other on fire. I’ve become so used to my kids ALWAYS having my attention that if we go to stay over somewhere and they are asleep, I get very fidgety. I cannot sit still, almost as if I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’ve also noticed that I have a NEED to always be busy. Once you have baby, there’s something that just starts ticking in our brains that has us devoted to our kids 24/7 and we forget that we are human too.
Now just about everyone is going to make the judgement that I hate motherhood and even though you may think that, let me assure you that I don’t hate motherhood, I absolutely love it. I love everything about it and I love kids. But you see, when a first time mom (or even second,third, fourth time mom..) begins to feel the emotions of the above, after spending the past 9 month hearing about how ‘beautiful´motherhood is supposed to be, she starts to wonder if there is something wrong with her and doubts begin to be born in her mind. So I’m voicing this, loud and proud, that I am not super woman, I am not invincible, I am Mom. Just mom. And I have been through the above too.
A little advice to you (Don’t take it if you don’t want it alright now? Don’t think I’m forcing you!)
Take advice only if it’s relevant
Trust that good ol’ mommy gut
Parent the way you feel is the best way to parent
You deserve ME time – GET IT
Breathe, breathe & breathe ..for those really awful days!
Don’t bother about all those ‘youre about to pop’ jokes ..you’re housing a human and when it’s his/her time to come into this world, you’re going to push that human out …with all that hard work, you’ll be back to your awesome figure in no time!
I have left out a few things like the fact that once you have a baby, going to the loo now becomes a family trip and once your kids are old enough, they want a detailed descrption of what exactly you’re doing on that toilet! But not everything about motherhood can be written down (it would probably take forever!) and not everything about motherhood is disastrous! Motherhood is something that is so amazing, that once you’re a mom, even though days can get hard, you will always understand and know that it is all worth it for that little soul that you’re caring for.
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Simone Gobin is a 24 year old, it graduate, wife to Avi and mother to Yash & Ralee Gobin. She spends her days being a mother and a wife. She has decided to start a blog as a creative outlet as well as connect with other parents. Her belief is that there is a lot to learn from other parents out there and she welcomes all advice possible.