Age is just a number. I mean you may be 30 and I may be 26 but I could be thinking like a 30 year old and you could be thinking like a 15 year old. You know I also completely understand the oldies (you know parents, uncles, grandads and grandmas) when they give you random, unsolicited advice. I mean they’re old and wise and probably just want whats best for you. I totally get that, I mean, really I do. But there are also people that become overbearing. People that have decided to give you advice on the assumption that their advice is the only ever advice that will be accurate and that they will shame you everyday for the rest of your life if you don’t take that advice. To be honest, mannn, I am tired.
I am 26 years old, a mother of three insanely cute kids and wife to an even bigger child. I live in my own home, manage to feed my kids, love and look after them by myself, I even run a small business, I mean come on, can you really impose on my every decision? I don’t mind advice, I LOVE it, seriously. Advice is like research without Google, where facts are created by experience. But as much as I love advice, ultimately the decision to actually follow that advice should solely be MINE. There should be no two ways about it.
After giving birth, I’ve realised that my tolerance for BS has worn extremely thin. In fact, my tolerance is basically as thick as a silkworm’s thread. So now, I’ve ALWAYS been receiving advice on how to live, what to do etc and it’s always made me feel uneasy. I mean, my way of living and your way of living are different and although they are indeed different, they are right for each of us.
I begin to feel frustrated and annoyed and honestly, just down right pissed off when I feel as though I’m being treated like a 5 year old that just doesn’t know any better! I am old enough to make my own decisions for my home, my children, my marriage, my life. I mean, I’m old enough to legally drink wine and stuff (yes, I know you see my growing obsession with the stuff, although I haven’t actually tasted wine. )
Another frustrating thing about this is that people’s voices are always louder than mine, and I don’t mean that literally. I mean that I am one of the emotionals. I can be really mad but you would see tears streaming down my face. These tears would probably be tears of anger or frustration, but they get misread. People use this to their advance, labeling my tears as admissions of guilt or sadness/getting offended and nobody chooses to listen to the truth because the loud mouths have clearly explained it all.
I’ve lived in moments that people changed their stories at the last minute, making me out to be a liar yet I was the one that was telling the truth. Crying makes me unable to speak, which in turn gives these people free reign to interpret my tears for me. I’m not stupid,I know this is my fault. Many times, I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and let many things go. I try to spare the people that I care about because words do a lot of damage too. But now, I refuse to spend the rest of my life feeling pressured and anxious about what people expect me to do and how they expect me to live. I don’t know whether this is a good idea but it seems like a good idea for me. I mean how much pent up frustration can a person live with? Why, as an adult, do I have to defend every decision I make, even if it’s a small one? I have my own home, I should do what I feel is necessary, not do what others feel is necessary in a home.
So from now onward,
My home WILL most probably be a mess at midday and that’s cool. I probably will do every other thing at a time that is convenient and suits me.
If I dont feel like doing something today, I ain’t doing it.
Thank you for the advice, I will take it into consideration. Please do not be offended if I do not follow it. I’m doing whats best for me and my gang.
Your way will not be my way.
I love you, I appreciate you but it’s my house, my rules.
I know that you probably have a million improvements on my life, home, parenting etc but please, keep them to yourself. Call me when you have all that it takes to action your plans because I’m doing what I can here, according to the money I have, time that I have and my capability.
I have my own preferences and I will do MY life according to those.
What else should I be adding to this list? How do you deal with people that force their decisions upon you? Does it frustrate you, the way it frustrates me? Let me know..
Simone Gobin is a 24 year old, it graduate, wife to Avi and mother to Yash & Ralee Gobin. She spends her days being a mother and a wife. She has decided to start a blog as a creative outlet as well as connect with other parents. Her belief is that there is a lot to learn from other parents out there and she welcomes all advice possible.