You might have heard of positive parenting. I know that I have but to be honest, I have not even done a bit of research on the subject. I’m following through with the whole guess and hope method and keeping my fingers crossed that somewhere along the line, I’m doing parenting in a good way not necessarily the right way. Let’s be honest, do YOU know the right way to parent a child? If you do, what makes you so sure that its correct? Is every child the same when each of us are so different, so unique and so special?
Ralee has just entered three but for the past two months (yes, the same amount of time that Myra has been around), she has been having these horrid tantrums that lands her on the floor, red, screaming and teary eyed and all for no apparent reason.
Now I know, you’re about to JUMP out at me and scream, MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME. (Yeah, I’m a mind reader too lol) you’re probably right about MCS, I just don’t know.. I haven’t researched that either. Now, for someone like me, research is everything but research is usually done to make a decision on something based on your findings. All kids are not the same and I just don’t feel like painting Ralee with the same brush. Just because we have a third kid now DOES NOT have to mean that its middle child syndrome. Perhaps Ralee is going through a phase of her own. Just because we have something to blame it on now, doesn’t mean that we should.
So anyway, I was becoming quiet frustrated with Ralee. She would cry and cry for no apparent reason and if you would ask her whats wrong, she would simply cry some more. I realised that this was getting us NOWHERE. so I stopped getting so hyped up instead I calmed TF down and started repeating the same thing to her.. I kept on telling her that she needs to stop crying and speak.
It didn’t work in the beginning, in fact, it was like hitting my Head on a brick wall. But eventually I got through to her and she started talking and telling me what she wanted. It still doesn’t always work but at least it does work SOMETIMES.
Now maybe you’re wondering why I’m telling you this. Its simple really. Our kids go through phases that make us want to pull our hair out, I just want to tell you it will be okay and even though I know that you know that, sometimes its just nice to have someone there to remind you.
I thought that I wouldn’t be able to win with Ralee. She is very stubborn. But a little patience and a change of wording made the world of difference. I’m not saying Googling is wrong, I mean we all do it. Nor is researching or reading parenting books but from my personal experience, I find that when I read ALL the information, I unconsciously search for signs and equate behaviours with particular aspects of what I may have read. I just don’t feel thats the right fit for ME as a parent and once I cut out the pressure of perfecting parenting, I began to feel lighter and happier.
If you’re an avid reader of parenting books, what books would you recommend to someone like me?
Simone Gobin is a 24 year old, it graduate, wife to Avi and mother to Yash & Ralee Gobin. She spends her days being a mother and a wife. She has decided to start a blog as a creative outlet as well as connect with other parents. Her belief is that there is a lot to learn from other parents out there and she welcomes all advice possible.